My life is unpredictable….I don’t know if that is bad or good? Its just….too much I guess. Okay, so idec. I no longer like ‘Fred’ well….he has been with Tiffany for 5 months now and I am happy for them. A part of me will always love him, but I’m glad we can just be friends now- Really good friends actually, i like it. I met a boy called Jeffrey, who I dated for 2 weeks but then I fell in love with his best friend. His best friend. I can honestly say I have never loved anyone as much as I love him. Even though there are other boys, nobody has ever made such a big impression- not even Fred. He will forever be my perfect guy, so funny, sweet, gorgeous, considerate, slightly stubborn but…. Perfect. I hope I never forget that. I just want to be there for him. No matter what, even though we don’t talk now. He loved me, then left. I will love him forever, I promised. There was another boy last week…but he was a snake, who isn’t worth my time. I want a real relationship. I want tom, and yes, that’s his real name. I love him more than I have ever loved anything. Everything’s great with my friend ‘Tiffany’ yet I am quite angry with ‘abbie’ because she is the reason I hate the boy from last week. Karl is moving to California in August, and Neville is moving back to Oz next week. So basically, my friends are just….so confusing. And my family…I won’t even talk about that.

There’s the basic update. But I just feel that I don’t even belong here, everyone is so hypocritical and inconsiderate. I’m fed up of people trying to tell me who I am, lying to my face. Bringing me down. I currently don’t have the energy to rage as I feel tired and worthless….. maybe next time. Xoxo Lexi. oooh! me and Fred’s sister have decided we want italian last names! Like this boy at school that Karl likes, I call him Anus (Long story). He’s really goodlooking but we are just friends. Me and Fred’S sis said what we wanted our kids to be called and I said: (random italian looking last name)

Lexi Jade De Houson Jake De Houson Luca De Houson Brooklynn De Houson.

Ps. Created new names today. VufojB’n De Houson, Dekoif Hamstand and JefJyz Zebrica.

blogsecret:

i’m constantly on the verge of breaking down

blogsecret:

I wish I could’ve been honest with you. You told me you liked me at a certain point of time. Why didn’t you just be straight up with me then? Why even wait this long to finally confess, AFTER your feelings passed? Fuck man, I wish I could’ve been honest with you then, too. I liked you. A lot.

blogsecret:

how many times have i told you that i only want you as my friend. but why do i get jealous whenever you are with her? and yes, i do envy her because she has the guts to pursue you. 

blogsecret:

I have written a million letters to you. (in my head)

I think about you almost 24/7.

I softly whisper your name every evening before I go to sleep.

I love you. (still do/again/now really?)

blogsecret:

I tell everyone I’m over you, but that is far from the truth. I still like you very much, and it’s not helping that I can’t get you off my mind.

blogsecret:

And for the record, i did all those terrible things to myself just to see if you’d care. Well i got my answer, obviously you don’t. I wish i could hate you. I wish i could just erase your name out of my phone. I wish i could erase any memory/memories i’ve ever shared with you. But the truth is i…

blogsecret:

You said you still wanted to be friends. You said I was your best friend. When we talk now, it feels strained, forced. Conversation now is rare. There’s no longer any love, laughter, or life in your words. What happened to the person I love so much? Is this a sign for me to leave your life completely, or is this just how you act towards friends? Either way, I miss the you I used to know. 

When you loved me..

blogsecret:

You were right. We’d be perfect together. But our timing was off and I missed my chance.

blogsecret:

I wish I could just take off and abandon my responsibilities, cut all my ties, if just for a little while. I don’t know who I am without this place. And I can’t work out if that’s a bad thing or not.